Monday, February 21, 2005

Small world



Published February 21, 2005

I wrote an article a couple years ago that made it's way into this newspaper for Memorial Day and also made it's way around the country via the internet. It was a tribute I wrote in honor of my father who died 42 years ago on February 20 while serving in the United States Air Force. A piece of that tribute included a condolence letter that was sent to my mother by the mayor of Comfrey Minnesota where my father's plane crashed. The reason I included the letter in the tribute was because it said personal and heartfelt things that touched me in ways the form letters of the military and the White House did not. It was hand written instead of typed. It had a smudge where words were carefully contemplated and it quoted scripture from the New Testament. It said everything one needed to hear when all that's left after sudden death is words of comfort. It was written by a stranger yet the person always seemed familiar to me.

Not too long after this tribute made its way through the internet, the condolence letter made it's way back to it's writer. It was republished in his local newspaper. I know this because his neighbors wrote me emails telling me that he was still alive. They told me what a fine man the mayor of Comfrey was, a good neighbor, a good citizen, a family man. I already knew this long before. I knew it from reading his letter from 40 years ago.

When I found out that he was still alive after all these years and was in his 90's, I decided to telephone him and thank him personally for his special letter. I wanted him to know how much it meant to me in different times of my life. I was a little nervous when the phone rang on his end and a younger man picked up the phone. "Is this the residence of "? I asked. "Yes, this is his son. May I ask who is calling?" I told him my name and he paused. "I know you. I live in Carmichael, California". As soon as he said that, a light clicked on. The last name was a name I knew well. It turns out this his son is a physician I used to hire to consult on medical cases I had need for evaluations on. His son is a surgeon in Sacramento, one I greatly respected, as we had a 12 year business relationship when I was handling claims. He was there visiting his Dad and told me that they had all marvelled how the letter had come back to him after 41 years. His mom had recently passed away and his dad was having a hard time. When his father got on the phone to speak with me, we both cried. I cried for his loss not because I knew him well, it was because I knew him without having met him.

He described February 20, 1963 like it was yesterday. It was cold and snowing and the wind was blowing hard. Comfrey was in the middle of blizzard conditions. He and his beloved wife Donni, while sitting in the kitchen, heard a terrible sound overhead, a large plane whirling out of control They heard it spinning overhead and then the crash that rattled the village like a huge earthquake. He immediately ran to the phone to call for help. He said the crash left such devastation that the whole town came together for the search and rescue. His letter was written on March 5, 1963. He told me that his wife helped him write the letter because they were a good team. His wife passed away February 17, 2003 around the time his letter made it's way home. I couldn't have written a sympathy note to him any better than the one he wrote to me before I was born.

I keep up with him on the internet. I read that he has recently retired after a combined service to his country and community which spanned over 50 years. When asked about his many years of service to his fellow citizens, he humbly stated " I thought I could help". What an understatement.


Tammy Maher is a resident of El Dorado Hills and bi-weekly columnist for the Mountain Democrat. You can reach her at familyfare@sbcglobal.net

Monday, February 07, 2005

Saint Valentine, a man for our time



Published February 7. 2005

Hearts, flowers, candy, sexy lingerie...these are the things that have come to symbolize the meaning of the Hallmark holiday of "Valentines Day." Couples get engaged on February 14th, some run off to places like "Cupid's Chapel of Love" to tie the knot and others steal away for the weekend in hope of finding romance or recapturing the passions that brought them together in the first place. Teens anonymously send each other cute cards, toys and candy at school while small children exchange their favorite sentimental valentine greeting cards in cute bags artfully adorned with their names.

But what is the origin of this day and who was Saint Valentine? Much more than a Hallmark invention, Saint Valentine was a man who lived many centuries ago but is definitely a man for our time.

For many years, my children thought he was a fat cherub-like angel that flew around shooting love arrows into the bodies of lonely hearts. This is sweet, but hardly the truth about a man who was simply a man of God and a Roman.

Valentine was a holy Catholic priest in second century Rome, who with St. Maurius, assisted the Christian martyrs while they suffered under the persecution of Emperor Claudius II. Once under arrest for crimes against the Empire (never defined), it was demanded that he renounce his Christian faith. Refusing to do so, he was beaten with clubs and beheaded on February 14. He was known for his virtues of charity, hospitality and compassion.
About the year 270, after Father Valentine's death. Pope Julius I built a church near Ponte Mole in his memory which for a long time gave name to the gate nowcalled Porta del Popolo, formerly, Porta Valetini or the Port of Valentine.
Like many holidays (or Holy Days) Christian Feasts were substituted where pagan practices abounded. On February 15, boys would typically draw tickets with names of girls they would rape in honor of their goddess Februata Juno. Christian priests, in an effort to abolish this practice, substituted the name of the saints on the tickets given on this day. Whether that protected the virtue of many Roman girls is unknown but is nevertheless a courageous attempt nonetheless. This practice ended when Constantine came to power.
It is traditionally thought that the reason St. Valentine was murdered so quickly while other martyrs were held prisoner for many years before their actual execution was due to the fact that he continued to marry young couples even though Emperor Claudius forbade it. The Emperor didn't believe in sacramental marriage and thought it was an impediment to the soldiers in the military.
Saint Valentine was a man of courage and conviction. He certainly loved others, was hospitable and lived a life of sacrifice. His example can best be imitated in charity towards other and fraternal love of those in need. When the kids and I talked about his life, they understood why hearts and candy would come to represent a life that was sweet and filled with the heart of God. Was he a romantic? I'd like to think so. Celebrate St. Valentines day with those you love by doing something special for someone who is not so lovable. The man for our times would approve. Have a very happy St. Valentines Day.

Tammy Maher is a resident of El Dorado Hills and bi-weekly columnist for the Mountain Democrat. You can reach her at familyfare@sbcglobal.net