When the house falls apart, call Lou...

Published Summer 2004

Real life is often a mystery. There are lots of different ways people refer to a streak of bad luck. Some call it “Murphy’s Law”, others say the old favorite, “when it rains, it pours”! Personally, I like to call these little misfortunes, “Christmas must be around the corner, because the house is falling apart”, or in short, C.A.C.A.

For instance, something breaks, either in the house or on the car and it needs to be repaired. It costs several hundred dollars but it’s really not fixed yet because nothing stays new, fixed or inside it’s warranty. This was true with my central vacuum system which is too small for my house by the way. The sweet folks who built our home made sure they used the cheapest and most ineffective products in our house. We didn’t know this. Their sales people were over the top but their service people were robots. They don’t like us because we want our stuff to work. I guess we are just not “industry standard” which was a common phrase the service manager used with me when I asked her why my house didn’t look or work right.

My summer started out with the burning out of my stove top ignition system. Two weeks later the double ovens went out. We ignored both problems and started eating out.

Later, when it looked like the summer would start to sizzle we decided that it was time to call a professional and install a whole house fan, and right after that happened, our HVAC unit’s coil system went caput and has probably been bad since our home was built. Do we repair it or replace it? I don’t know. (Whining like Seinfeld)

C.A.C.A. occurs with the cars too. It’s not one car that needs a repair, it’s all of them. The tires are only bad when the registration is due and that is in December when we are looking at hosting Christmas parties and buying gifts. We try not to go into debt but C.A.C.A. makes it impossible.

The only answer to C.A.C.A. is a neighbor you can trust who is a real friend and his name is Lou. Every person on planet earth should have their very own Lou but that’s impossible. Lou is precious and we’re not sharing him nor his last name with anyone else, so forgedabout it.

Lou started working on my house seven years ago. When the builder wanted his money but didn’t want to find the leak that was destroying my family room at Christmastime, Lou showed up with his wife and they tore out the wall to find the leak. When my gas dryer was giving me trouble one winter while the laundry piled up into New Year, it was Lou that came and braved his way through the mess and saved the day. Two weeks ago, the whole house fan expert installed the switch on a crooked angle which sent J.D. into a tailspin, so Lou came and straightened it out by gerry-rigging it with his popsicle sticks and some caulking. It looks perfect.

Lou is the answer man. I wish I hadn’t waited so long to ask him about my bath tub. I spent the last seven years taking a bath in lukewarm water because the water heater our builder installed in our home had a defective dip something or another. Lou knew this and fixed all the dip thingys for many of the neighbors on his own time. Hot water is a blessing.

Lou is a sweetheart. You can call on him anytime, unless of course “The Price is Right”, or “Cops” happens to be on television. But it’s well worth the hour wait. Not only that, when he’s here fixing things, we get to listen to his musings on life which are absolutely hilarious. He’s the pirate king in our ‘Pirates of Penzance’.

When J.D. needs anything at all, Lou is always there. Like a superhero, he’ll ride around on his red scooter scouting out other C.A.C.A . projects. J.D. wants to be handy like Lou. He practices by putting on Lou’s old overalls that say “Lou” on the name tag and he walks around with something in his hand. Everyone has their niche.

I thought about Lou today as I was escorting the repairman I summoned to my home on the hottest day of the year. No sooner did the heat arrive and our air conditioner went out again. The very nice HVAC man spent a good deal of his morning evaluating the problem with scrutiny, whereby making it look like a job suitable only for a neurosurgeon. I had flashbacks of the character, ‘Cosmo’, in “Moonstruck”. He works for a reputable company which I’m sure you’ve heard of called, Gimme Allyurmoney. He had two estimates for me, one for $1800.00 and the other for $3800.00.

Christmas is four months away. I came inside the house to telephone J.D. to break it to him gently when I noticed the dish washer leaking. Lou will be by the house about five o’clock, so everything will be OK.

Tammy Maher is a resident of El Dorado Hills and bi-weekly columnist for the Mountain Democrat. You can reach her at familyfare@sbcglobal.net

Angels Among Us

Published August 2004

About 15 years ago, I met a young man, Adam, who went to our church. He was very close to his family, seemingly always cheerful, and had a smile for me every time I saw him. He was openly affectionate to his parents, giving them hugs and saying hello to everyone he met. I found myself staring at him wondering to myself, “what is he so happy about all the time”? Each week I would look to see if he was at Mass. He was so demonstrative in his affections and completely unashamed by his own joy, I wanted to see what he would teach me next. When I didn’t see him, I felt disappointment. I looked forward to the next time I would say hello to him. Adam was 16 and he was born with Downs’ Syndrome. But for some of the facial features that are typical with Downs’, he was like me in every way, except one thing, he lacked cynicism. I admired him and envied him at the same time. We moved out of the area and I think about him now and again. He and I would have been lifelong friends I’m sure.

I was at my favorite lunchtime café 8 years ago, when I asked the guy across the counter from me who made the best big salad in the world, what happened to his co-worker who usually worked the espresso machine. “She’s out –something medical” Won’t be back for three weeks.” I was concerned and he hinted without saying too much that she was 4 months pregnant with a ‘Downs kid’ and was “taking care “it”. I knew what he meant by that. I went back to my office and cried. I cried for her and I cried for the baby. I hardly knew her but for the fabulous lattes she brewed. I never saw her again. Someone said she never got over what happened to her. I understood and wished somehow that she could have known Adam.

One month ago, a very dear friend of mine Barb, gave birth to a baby girl. Her name is Madeline. The moment I met Madeline, I fell in love with her. She is the most beautiful girl with lips like an angel, and a ‘Gerber baby’ wisp of hair with the pudgiest cheeks you’d ever want to eat! I look forward to getting to know her as she grows up. I told Barb that I can see her as young girl already, in pig tails, full of joy and expectation to see her friends, making sure that all get a warm hello and a hug. I see her working at Starbucks someday, and I imagine all of us meeting there to have coffee just so when can see her and be near her. She will be the one we will look to when all seems cynical and hopeless. I admire my friend Barb and I envy her at the same time. Two of her seven children have special needs, but Maddie’s special gifts will more than outweigh any of her special needs.

Yesterday I drove threw my neighborhood and saw a new neighbor I never noticed before waving frantically at me like we were old friends. I looked at her and waved back. She had the most wonderful smile. She had a spring in her step. She not only waved to me and my kids while out getting her exercise, she waved to the people driving behind me too. She changed my mood for the entire evening. I must find a way to formally meet her, the next chance I get. I have a feeling we’ll be lifelong friends.

Yes, God created the angels for heaven but the most special angels, the ones with Downs’ Syndrome, he created for the earth.


Tammy Maher is a resident of El Dorado Hills and bi-weekly columnist for the Mountain Democrat. You can reach her at familyfare@sbcglobal.net